Perception of time.
The first thing that I noticed was that my perception of time had changed. It had been stretched. The day seemed to drag on forever with the worst parts being around are traditional meal times. It was as if my awareness of every moment had become focused on what was happening around me.
The slight feeling of Hunger in my gut is what kept me anchored to all the moments. It wasn't painful physically. But I was not prepared but he emotional impact of having such awareness.
Deafening silence.
Some people have a hard time sitting in a room quietly without distractions. As if it served a greater purpose than simple entertainment. I have come to the conclusion that the distraction protects us from our own thoughts.
Through my own meditation practices of sitting quietly in a room, it has never been difficult for me to be alone with my own thoughts. But somewhere around hour 75 I started to have an emotional breakdown. The hyper awareness gained by the anchored hunger became too much for me to bear. It was at that moment that I realised how much comfort distractions provide us. I learnt that distractions comfort us from the suffering that makes up the essence of life.
Awakened to the suffering.
According to the Buddhist, life's natural state is suffering and it is the Buddhist desire to alleviate as much of that suffering as possible. But if the Buddhist does nothing, then suffering well prevail. Now I am not a Buddhist, but I did gain a glimpse into this underlying suffering that makes up the world. This glimpse taught me that I am not emotionally resilient enough to handle the world without any distractions. I learnt that the real world was just too painful and that I did not have the necessary skills to handle it.
Next time.
This time around I fasted for 85 hours, which was almost twice as long as any previous fast I had done. Next time I will attempt 100 hours. Until then, I will continuously build my emotional resilience with the understanding that my deeper awareness from fasting will bring me to new emotional levels.
I'm very much interested if any of you have had similar experiences while fasting.
Thank you for your time
-Stay Savage
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