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Resetting Life, Day 7-14

My journey so far has been one of self discovery. Over the last couple of days, I realized that I will need something more than self discovery to succeed evolving into something greater. I need to completely change everything I do and the way I do it. Every moment of every day needs to be aligned with the desired life that I want to live. To include the actions I take and the habits I form to support my long term goals. The truth is that life is only what we make it; to quote the Great movie series ”there is no fate but the one we make.”

I also have a confession to make. I have been holding back on all the things that I am doing to prepare myself for my next step. In this post I'm going to rectify that error.

Bottom line: I have chosen to embrace suffering and pain so that I can know myself on a deeper level. This is done through newly formed rituals and habits:
  • I only take ice cold showers. I don’t mean that at the end of a hot shower I rinse off in cold water. I mean from the start, I push the lever to max cold and shower completely at the lowest possible temperature.
  • I only eat once a day. I eat one normal healthy as possible meal around lunch time and that is it. I will drink water, coffee, and the occasional diet soda as well, but no food.
  • I sleep every other night. I will take an hour nap here-and-there, but I full night’s sleep of five plus hours only happens every other night.
  • I spend every conscious moment learning. This means watching business videos on youtube, reading non-fiction books on my kindle app using wordrunner, or accomplishing my writing and school goals. I do not rest.
  • I use my naps as a special meditation to help me break through complex or new problems. This is done by staying mostly conscious as my mind enters theta state. The intense holographic dreaming experience allows me to ask very hard questions and have my mind display the information to me in a story format. So, even when I’m sleeping, I’m working.


As a warrior and philosopher, this past Memorial Weekend had special significance to me. I spent it with my family at the military resort in Germany, and being away and up in the mountains allowed me the space to reflect on my own mortality. My brothers and sisters gave the ultimate sacrifice for people who will never really know why. The regular population gets it on a big picture level, but since they are not willing to write the blank check, they don’t truly understand why the warriors do what they do.

When I am dead, what will they say? Will they know the reasons why I chose to live the life I did or will they simply accept some easily digestible version? And more importantly, what Legacy do I Choose to leave behind?


It is this last question that drives me to know myself on a deeper level. I have much to do and only one lifetime to do it. And this is the rub. And this is why I don’t sleep.
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